Stepmom Station

By Paula J. Egner

Once upon a time, there lived a little girl named Cindy Ella. She was the apple of her daddy's eye, and the melody in her mama's bedtime lullaby. Each day she thrived in the security of being surrounded by the love of both her parents. As she grew into a happy, healthy, confident young woman, she dreamed of the day when, she too, would be the wife in her own two-parent family. A family that would brim with the traditional values and routines she'd grown accustomed to.

Finally, the day came when she met Alec, the handsome Prince Charming that her parents had promised would dance with her and romance with her. He would lift her into his protective arms, marry her, and carry her into forever. He would father her handsome, happy, and healthy children, and the family unit as Cindy Ella had known it would be perpetuated from generation to generation.

There was just one catch: Alec had been married before. But that was all in the past. The only reminders were his darling two small sons, who Cindy Ella thought of as miniature versions of their handsome father. She wouldn't mind having them visit every other weekend. She actually looked forward to getting to "play mommy" with them as practice for the day when she and Alec would have their own precious bundles of joy.

But the journey to Cindy Ella's happily-ever-after wasn't quite as crystal clear as the glass slippers Alec had found in the bedroom closet he'd formerly shared with his ex-wife. As he slipped them on Cindy Ella's feet, she had no way of knowing that she had just stepped into another woman's shoes.

Cindy Ella was officially a Next Wife. The fairy tale was over.

SIGNS OF TROUBLE. She noticed a change in the children first. How could those darling boys that she'd been sure were cherubs in disguise, suddenly turn into little demons? Hostility etched across their otherwise innocent faces as cries of, "You're not my mommy!" distorted into growls of an exorcism proportion.

Next to go was her husband's usual easy-going disposition. He defended his little angels' behavior with a vengeance. Cindy Ella pleaded with him to do something about their refusal to accept her as their father's new wife. Or even more, for him to help them understand that she was now their stepmom, and not only had the authority, but the obligation to instruct or correct their actions. But excuses were all he offered. "They're just kids," or "It's not their fault," or "Be patient with them," echoed in the chasm that had developed in their marriage.

Then, there was the ex-wife. It seemed she was everywhere. If the phone rang during a planned family evening of watching Disney DVDs with the boys, it was her. If they managed to have an entertaining Sunday afternoon on the children's visitation weekend, she would interrupt once again saying that her sons needed to be returned early that evening. And she insisted that she call every night that they stayed with their father, just to give them a "phone kiss." Their mother's intrusion into the adjustment time with their newly blended family only served to remind them that being with their dad, would always mean they would be without their mom. Their resentment that Cindy Ella had taken their mommy's place with their daddy, grew more with every passing day.

UNLIKELY FOES. Surprisingly, Cindy Ella found no solace with her own parents, either. Stuck in their own fairy tale world, they couldn't understand why they didn't have grandchildren yet.

"Mom, you do have grandchildren. You have two step-grandsons." Cindy Ella reasoned.

"That's not the same, and you know it." Her mother's usual melodic voice, cackled. "Your father and I won't really be grandparents until we hold the baby of our own daughter."

Cindy Ella sighed. She knew step-grandparenting hadn't measured up to their expectations of what it meant to be Grandma and Grandpa, any more than being a stepmom had replaced her desire to cradle her own flesh and blood offspring.

Still, she refused to give up on her dream of having the perfect little family. Sure, it was blended, but lots of good things were. Ice cream shakes, for instance. She could almost hear the groan of the mixer as it twisted the frozen concoction around at breakneck speeds, infusing the milk to break up the firm texture of the ice cream and crushing the fruit into squashed globs. The former ingredients would emerge liquefied, unrecognizable, changed forever. Blended.

THE INEVITABLE. One day, Cindy Ella scurried about the castle that her husband had originally shared with his ex-princess, wearing the glass slippers she'd desperately tried to fill. She'd just redecorated the boys' bedrooms and was anxious to complete the surprise before her prince and his little princelings returned home. But in her haste she tripped in the very footsteps she'd denied she had been trying to follow: those of her husband's ex-wife and her stepsons' mother.

When her fall was finally halted on the stairway landing, she took a moment to assess the damage. There didn't seem to be any broken bones. No outward sign of her inner pain.

Her shoes hadn't fared so well, though. The glass slippers had shattered.

Cindy Ella sat on the landing and cried. She cried and she cried until no more tears would fall. When she was finally quiet, she felt a toe wiggle. Then two toes. Just a little wiggle at first, then more joyfully, until all her toes joined in. Now that they were free of the glass slippers, they wiggled and wiggled. She rose to her wiggling feet and carefully picked up the shards of the slippers that had once confined her, and threw them into the trash. The floor felt refreshing on her bare soles, and she found herself running through the castle like the carefree little girl she used to be. The one who had believed in fairy tales.

MORAL OF THE STORY. It had taken a tumble to shake Cindy Ella out of her childish visions and into the happiness she could make from her situation. It was true that the children would need time to adjust to her presence and position in their lives. And her husband must eventually learn how to handle his own guilt for subjecting them to a blended family. She knew that he also needed to evaluate the priorities in his life, including the fact that when he'd made Cindy Ella his wife, he had vowed to be faithful to her. That faithfulness covered more ground than just fidelity. Finally, Cindy Ella realized that it was futile to try to live up to another woman's image. True happiness would never be found in the confines of another's shadow. Whether in her role as daughter, Next Wife, stepmom, or eventually, mommy, she had something to offer that was uniquely hers. And that was even better than a fairy tale.